It starts before the workbook even comes out.
Maybe it’s a subtle shift in their body language. A sudden need to use the bathroom. A complaint about a headache that wasn’t there five minutes ago. Or perhaps it’s more obvious—the tears, the “I can’t do this,” the full-blown meltdown that transforms your kitchen table into a battlefield.
If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not imagining it.
What you’re witnessing has a name: maths anxiety. And it affects far more children—and parents—than most people realise.
The good news? Once you can recognise the signs, you can start to address them. Here are five indicators that your child might be struggling with maths anxiety, not just struggling with maths.
1. Physical Avoidance Behaviours
Children’s bodies often express what their words cannot. If your child regularly develops headaches, stomach aches, or sudden fatigue specifically around maths time, this isn’t coincidence—it’s anxiety manifesting physically.
Watch for patterns:
- Needing the toilet the moment maths is mentioned
- Feeling “too tired” for maths but energetic for everything else
- Complaints of feeling unwell that mysteriously resolve when maths is postponed
- Fidgeting, restlessness, or an inability to sit still during maths sessions
These aren’t excuses or manipulation—they’re genuine stress responses. Your child’s nervous system is trying to protect them from something that feels threatening.
2. Negative Self-Talk and Fixed Mindset Statements
Listen carefully to what your child says about themselves and maths. Anxiety often reveals itself through language:
- “I’m rubbish at maths”
- “I’ll never understand this”
- “I’m just not a maths person”
- “Everyone else gets it except me”
- “I’m too stupid for this”
These statements signal something deeper than a difficult topic. Your child has begun to attach their identity to mathematical failure. They’re not saying “this problem is hard”—they’re saying “I am fundamentally incapable.”
This fixed mindset creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. When children believe they can’t succeed, they stop genuinely trying—and then interpret their lack of progress as proof they were right all along.
3. Emotional Meltdowns Disproportionate to the Task
Every child gets frustrated sometimes. But maths anxiety produces reactions that seem wildly out of proportion to what’s actually being asked.
A single long division problem triggers tears. A worksheet with ten questions prompts declarations that “this is impossible.” A gentle correction leads to throwing pencils, slamming books, or complete shutdown.
What’s happening? Your child isn’t reacting to this one problem. They’re reacting to:
- Every maths failure they’ve ever experienced
- The fear of confirming they’re “bad at maths”
- Anticipation of your disappointment
- The overwhelming feeling that they’ll never catch up
That single question carries the weight of all their accumulated maths dread. No wonder it feels unbearable.
4. Rushing Through Work or Making Careless Mistakes
This sign often gets misread as laziness or not caring. In reality, it’s frequently the opposite.
Children with maths anxiety want the uncomfortable experience to end as quickly as possible. They race through problems not because they don’t care, but because every moment spent on maths is a moment of distress.
You might notice:
- Answers written without any working shown
- Questions skipped entirely
- Silly mistakes that you know they wouldn’t make if they slowed down
- Work that’s messier than their other subjects
- A desperate need to be “finished” regardless of quality
The goal has shifted from “understand this” to “survive this.” And survival mode doesn’t produce good maths.
5. Learned Helplessness and Refusal to Try Independently
Perhaps the most heartbreaking sign: your child won’t even attempt a problem without you sitting right beside them. They’ve stopped believing in their own capability.
This might look like:
- Saying “I don’t know” before reading the question
- Refusing to start until you’re watching
- Asking for help after every single step
- Waiting passively instead of trying anything
- Giving up at the first hint of difficulty
Your child has learned that struggling feels terrible and that eventually, someone will rescue them. Why endure the pain of trying when they can skip straight to getting help?
This isn’t laziness—it’s a rational response to repeated experiences of failure and frustration. But it creates a dependency that prevents genuine learning.
What Can You Do About It?
Recognising these signs is the first step. But awareness alone won’t transform your child’s relationship with maths. Here’s where to start:
Address Your Own Maths Feelings First
Children are remarkably perceptive. If you carry your own maths anxiety—and many parents do—your child is absorbing it. The tension in your voice, the sigh when they get something wrong, the way you tense up when maths time approaches: they notice all of it.
Your transformation must come first. When you approach maths with genuine confidence, your child’s anxiety has less fuel to burn.
Separate Performance from Identity
Help your child understand that getting something wrong doesn’t mean they are wrong. Mistakes are information, not verdicts. When they make an error, respond with curiosity rather than correction: “Interesting—let’s see what happened here.”
Make Anxiety Visible and Discussable
Name what’s happening. “It looks like maths is bringing up some big feelings today.” Give your child permission to acknowledge their anxiety without shame. What we can talk about, we can work with.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Celebrate effort and improvement rather than correct answers. “You stuck with that even though it was hard” matters more than “You got them all right.” Build evidence that persistence leads somewhere good.
Seek Structured Support
You don’t have to figure this out alone. A clear framework can transform both your confidence and your child’s experience—without requiring a maths degree or teaching qualification.
Ready to Transform Maths Time?
If you recognised your child—or yourself—in these signs, my book Confident Parent, Confident Child gives you a complete 30-day framework for changing your family’s relationship with maths.
No maths expertise required. Just a willingness to try a different approach.
Maths anxiety is real, and it’s more common than you think. But it doesn’t have to be permanent. With the right approach, both you and your child can move from dread to confidence—one small step at a time.
What signs have you noticed in your child? I’d love to hear your experience.